Have you ever caught yourself using a phrase you absolutely hate, just because your best friend or your spouse uses it all the time? Or have you ever noticed that you’ve started adopting the exact same mannerisms as a coworker you spend forty hours a week with? 

It doesn’t matter if you are a twenty-two-year-old college student, a parent in your forties, or a grandparent in your seventies….we all do this. 

I’m not a psychologist (though I have definitely dabbled in a few books on the subject), but I’ve always had this theory about our identity. My theory is this: No one is truly an original. 

Instead, we are a compilation of many different influences. When you spend a lot of time with a person, they inevitably rub off on you. You become like them. You pick up their quirks, their tendencies, their attitudes, and even their habits. What makes us “original” is simply the unique combination of the different people who have influenced us, mixed in with a little bit of what we personally bring to the table. 

If you want to see this theory in action, just look at the kids sitting in your circle on Sunday. 

We are leading Generation Alpha. They are the most digitally influenced generation in history. A child’s personality right now is a chaotic compilation of their parents’ stress levels, the slang from their favorite YouTube gamer, the dance moves from TikTok, and the attitude of the kid they interact with on the playground. They are absolute sponges for influence. They are constantly looking around their world, trying on different identities to see what actually fits. 

If this is true, then your role as a Small Group Leader has a massive implication. 

We spend so much time stressing over the curriculum, making sure we ask the right questions, and trying to get the theology perfectly right. But the greatest impact you have on your kids may have very little to do with what you say to them, and everything to do with who you are when you’re around them. 

The more time you spend with your few, the more your faith rubs off on them. 

This is why we are introducing our third Lead Small principle this week: Make It Personal. 

When we Lead Small, we make a choice to invest strategically in the lives of a few over time to help them build an authentic faith. But when we Make It Personal, we realize we cannot lead a kid somewhere we aren’t actively going ourselves. We have to prioritize who we are and who we are becoming, because our authentic faith will have a significant impact on the kids who call us their leaders. 

Don’t miss this: The most important things in life can never be taught; they have to be caught. 

Over the next few weeks, we are going to look at three specific ways we Make It Personal for our few: 

Live in Community: Surrounding yourself with people who fuel your faith. 

Set Priorities: Making sure your own spiritual tank isn’t running on empty. 

Be Real: Letting kids see your authentic, unpolished journey. 

So, before I see you this weekend, I want you to think about the “compilation” of your own faith: 

Think back to the leader, mentor, or family member who had the biggest influence on your spiritual life. What was the most impactful thing you “caught” from them that they never actually sat down to explicitly teach you? 

Think about that.